One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize