so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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