If i come over, it means nothing
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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