he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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