1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
