Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
