so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
