she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You ate ashes out of my bong
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
