did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
