I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
