My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
