on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
