Betty ford says i'm here all night
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
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