it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize