Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
