Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize