i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Four minutes until I can fart!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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