chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize