hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
look no pants
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
