Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
