btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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