I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
