everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
