his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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