the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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