3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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