dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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