At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
be right there i have to get my cape
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
