I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
