Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
