was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
