Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
