there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
