The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
