i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
