Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You ruined the universe
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
