sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
