please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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