I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
