My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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