the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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