Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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