The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
