If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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