So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
