did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
