Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
