Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize