You made me cry and you don't even care
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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