i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize