We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize