i wish there were pregnant emoticons
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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