Come see our sink grown plant.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
