I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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