Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
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