I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
