Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
