I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
