textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
