i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
