Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
