So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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