She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize