you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
