Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You brought string cheese to the strip club
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
