I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ketchup is God's man juice
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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