U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
