Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i came on her dog
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
