well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
