I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
