Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
