For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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