Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
