Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
