The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
