i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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