He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I would ride that face into the sunset
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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