Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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