And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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