Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
