Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
